Saturday, January 28, 2012
Well, we're here!
As of yet, I have no pottery in paradise, let alone a home for my family and school for my children. Myfamily and I arrived in Honolulu late last Friday night. Some old friends surprised us at the air port. When one placed a woven tuberose lei around my neck, I thought "oh, Hawaii, how I missed you." We are now settled into little apartment above our hosts garage, in the beloved valley of Manoa. Because we're on the second story, we live among the tree tops. The apartment is fully furnished, with all our comforts provided for, and breezy sheer curtains at every window. This is our long awaited return to O'ahu. We left suddenly in 2008 after, what now most assuredly appears to have been, my nervous breakdown. I was undone, I was like a child, I was a zombie mommie! My life was a swirling puzzle: how do I get the spoon, milk, bowl, cereal, chair and child to the table all at the same time? But I was free!!! When you can't do much of anything, you aren't expected to do much at all! So as I grew strong again, I added things back into my life in the order of my choosing! Before I could do much of anything though, the only way to make it from one impossible day to the next, was to CREATE. The combination of my fidgetty hands and my intense imagination, made the pain bearable. So I began to let myself make something new each day. I grieved every day, cried and did my best to comfort myself and process the traumatic events which left me so. . so. . desperate. But with plenty little people around to love me, a faithful though frightened husband, and my newfound freedom, I managed to wait on my healing and recovery. Making things had always been my way of life, as child, student, wife and mother. As a child I was constantly making and remaking, putting this with that to make a one-of-a-kind thing-a-ma-jig just right for whomever I chose to bless with it. Honestly, I never tucked that part of myself away. I just really underestimated it. I hadn't realized this was what I had to give the world. I swept it under the carpet and looked to God for more, for something more important, something "more grown-up". It seems growing up has taken me back to my childhood, back to Hawaii and set me free!